Freedom?

The ringing alarm clock ended the vital sleep that proved insufficient to revitalize me. As I pursued my tasks, I pondered those words from my bulletin board: "Work will set you free; in the sweat of your face shall you be liberated!" Even for me, those words hold a certain irony. I understand well the history of the first five words of the phase. What started as a Protestant work ethic slogan later became a familiar phrase on the gates of Nazi camps during the past century! What were the Nazis trying to tell their captives? Perhaps the words were meant to instill false hope of future freedom, or perhaps they were but a subtle reminder that overwork would eventually liberate some of them--through death. Whatever the meaning of those words, a sinister connotation lingers around them even today. However, when I use those words to greet a certain friend of mine, he perceives them as an encouragement to continue pressing toward the goal. Whether spoken in the middle of a dismal day, or after a week of overtime, contemplating liberation through work continues to lift my spirits. Just what is this liberation I speak of? This liberation comes only from work; it is a sense of worth resulting from an individual's efforts to accomplish something significant. The significance need not be recognized by the individual himself, however when one does perceive the significance of his labor, even greater satisfaction results.

By the sweat of your face
Shall your liberation come,
Shall your liberation come.
Then you will know
That you are free,
Because you see,
Work really makes one free,
Really, really free.
Liberation has come.
Work liberates!

Under the Ginkgo . . .

When my life is over, and I am truely free,
Put my remains under the ginkgo biloba tree,
And weep for me no more forever,
But continue in your endeavors,
One day we shall meet again,
Our Creator will decide when.

Freedom Inside the Gate

In coming months, many young people will experience life inside the gate for the first time. Some will leave before the beloved season of Christmas rolls around. Others will tough out their stay, while wishing they could be elsewhere. Still others will accept life inside the gate for what it really is. Perhaps my atypical American upbringing allows me to find freedom inside the gate, while others believe they are under bondage. The regulations appear more as challenges to live up to than as restrictions to be burdened with. Life goes on after the rebels, the norm of modern society, have gone. The atmosphere inside the gate improves without their influence. Some may call me brainwashed, however those individuals often fail to realize how brainwashed they are as well! As I walk by groups of people complaining about some rules, I realize how spoiled this generation is, how obsessed with ease and entertainment! Their talk fills me with disgust. I am amazed that people live for so little in life. Surely the little pleasures they find themselves without are not vital to a full life. Nothing compares to walking back from work on a romantic autumn day, feeling the wind blowing through my hair, and knowing that I am free indeed. Liberation exists inside the gate!

Optimism: A Retreat From Reality

Pessimism greatly affects my view of life. Optimism is perhaps more comforting than pessimism, at least until reality proves optimism an illusion. The thought of having an optimistic view proven wrong strikes me as being more embarrassing than having a pessimistic view proven wrong. Perhaps the shame is less because when the pessimist is wrong, others may focus more on the subject of the prediction than the prediction itself. In the case of the optimist being wrong, the opposite is true. Why not expect the worst, and be pleasantly surprised with the result? In the words of my father, "If you expect nothing, and get something, then you are happy." I am convinced that pessimism draws one closer to reality. Reality tends to be harsh at times; it can hurt the unprepared. Pessimism better prepares one to face the realities of life. One may choose to live in a pretend world for a time, but eventually he will ultimately be confronted face-to-face with reality. I know everyone cannot be a pessimist, but why not face life having been prepared by
pessimism?

Paradox

I wanted what I wanted not,
What I did shun became my lot.
My own warnings I left not spurning,
To satisfy my heart's deep yearning.
At last fulfillment did partly come,
But I am back where I begun.
Although I have what I desired,
I can't help but feel uninspired.
I long to be deeply seclusioned,
On days when I am disillusioned.

End of an Existence

Where is the loner who studied here,
I cannot find him anywhere.
On society's edge he could be found,
But he kept not his gaze upon the ground.
His voice rang out both strong and clear,
When he thought no one else could hear,
His songs of desperation,
When he viewed his fallen aspirations,
By others his life was deemed absurd,
He seemed obsessed with the written word,
He loved to surround himself with mystery,
While taking up the study of history.
I will not hide the truth my friend,
His life at last has had its end.
His books are closed, his lessons done,
His face at last has seen the Son.
His life was filled with many dreams,
Although some be unfulfilled it seems,
On every day he tried his best
To achieve excellence; that was his quest.
His life was full, his time well spent,
We do not wonder where his days went.
Now in the words of the one thus gone,
Let me assure you, "Life will go on."

On Eating Alone

Many are the times that I have eaten my food in solitude. I have grown accustomed to this style of eating in my absence from home. This style has grown high in favor with me, so much that having someone join me can sometimes be annoying. However, there are a few persons who I am happy to eat with. I try to make it my rule not to turn anyone away from sitting with me, since I myself know how hard it can be to find a table.
One main point I have in eating alone is time management. To me, eating with other people often results in an inexcusable waste of time, time I could be studying or pursuing my pastimes. Another point I have is the peril of groups. I often see groups in this hapless condition: there is no readily available table for their social eating, so they must walk around searching. What a waste of time! I've been there, done that. It is not fun. Other frustrations involve getting separated from group members and waiting for people who come late, or not at all. I constantly hear meaningless conversations about eating with so-and-so, getting a table, why this person isn't there and more. What a waste of energy, time, and life in general.
Some people have a problem with eating their food alone. They get concerned about "dinner plans". What dinner plans? Apparently, eating alone would harm their delicate social life. Who cares about social life? Why not just be a loner? Loners are capable of extremely high efficiency in various areas of life. I admit that many things are not for loners, but eating certainly lends itself very well to doing alone.
Very rarely do I plan to meet someone for a meal. Once a certain person I like questioned me about the eating situation. I replied, "That's the way I live my life." I eat to survive, not to socialize. Probably more than ever, this will be my focus next semester.