Under the Ginkgo . . .

When my life is over, and I am truely free,
Put my remains under the ginkgo biloba tree,
And weep for me no more forever,
But continue in your endeavors,
One day we shall meet again,
Our Creator will decide when.

Freedom Inside the Gate

In coming months, many young people will experience life inside the gate for the first time. Some will leave before the beloved season of Christmas rolls around. Others will tough out their stay, while wishing they could be elsewhere. Still others will accept life inside the gate for what it really is. Perhaps my atypical American upbringing allows me to find freedom inside the gate, while others believe they are under bondage. The regulations appear more as challenges to live up to than as restrictions to be burdened with. Life goes on after the rebels, the norm of modern society, have gone. The atmosphere inside the gate improves without their influence. Some may call me brainwashed, however those individuals often fail to realize how brainwashed they are as well! As I walk by groups of people complaining about some rules, I realize how spoiled this generation is, how obsessed with ease and entertainment! Their talk fills me with disgust. I am amazed that people live for so little in life. Surely the little pleasures they find themselves without are not vital to a full life. Nothing compares to walking back from work on a romantic autumn day, feeling the wind blowing through my hair, and knowing that I am free indeed. Liberation exists inside the gate!

Optimism: A Retreat From Reality

Pessimism greatly affects my view of life. Optimism is perhaps more comforting than pessimism, at least until reality proves optimism an illusion. The thought of having an optimistic view proven wrong strikes me as being more embarrassing than having a pessimistic view proven wrong. Perhaps the shame is less because when the pessimist is wrong, others may focus more on the subject of the prediction than the prediction itself. In the case of the optimist being wrong, the opposite is true. Why not expect the worst, and be pleasantly surprised with the result? In the words of my father, "If you expect nothing, and get something, then you are happy." I am convinced that pessimism draws one closer to reality. Reality tends to be harsh at times; it can hurt the unprepared. Pessimism better prepares one to face the realities of life. One may choose to live in a pretend world for a time, but eventually he will ultimately be confronted face-to-face with reality. I know everyone cannot be a pessimist, but why not face life having been prepared by
pessimism?

Paradox

I wanted what I wanted not,
What I did shun became my lot.
My own warnings I left not spurning,
To satisfy my heart's deep yearning.
At last fulfillment did partly come,
But I am back where I begun.
Although I have what I desired,
I can't help but feel uninspired.
I long to be deeply seclusioned,
On days when I am disillusioned.

End of an Existence

Where is the loner who studied here,
I cannot find him anywhere.
On society's edge he could be found,
But he kept not his gaze upon the ground.
His voice rang out both strong and clear,
When he thought no one else could hear,
His songs of desperation,
When he viewed his fallen aspirations,
By others his life was deemed absurd,
He seemed obsessed with the written word,
He loved to surround himself with mystery,
While taking up the study of history.
I will not hide the truth my friend,
His life at last has had its end.
His books are closed, his lessons done,
His face at last has seen the Son.
His life was filled with many dreams,
Although some be unfulfilled it seems,
On every day he tried his best
To achieve excellence; that was his quest.
His life was full, his time well spent,
We do not wonder where his days went.
Now in the words of the one thus gone,
Let me assure you, "Life will go on."